well amybug, this is a post that only you will read because you are my only follower. but i kindof like it like that.
i've been antsy. in the last couple of days i’ve realized why i'm uncomfortable. i feel smallish. i feel like my passions and personality and future are conventional. i feel like my school lends itself to teaching kids or to being a mom. (don't get me wrong, both of those things are incredible. i just don't know that they're what i need to be doing.) i feel like my talents are nice and useful for church—but not dazzling. i feel like i could leave tomorrow and most of my friends would miss me for a couple of days…but could do without me just as easily. i feel like i am unimpactful. (is that a word? nope.)
and then i sit here and also realize that i am literally a whiny 5-year-old right now. like that chubby, sunburned kid that channing and i saw at seaside who flung his arms behind him as far as they could go, flopped his head over, and stomped angrily down the hill. i’m being just as ridiculous.
god have given me purpose. he has given me my talents and passions. i may feel small. but, placing the intense urge for self-promotion aside, i can admit that i am small. tiny.
you, however, are magnificent.
…therefore this joy of mine is now complete. he must increase, but i must decrease. (john 3:29-30)
ps. spring is here